I was reading this article the other day about how the Kenyans were gearing up to have the best 8 days of Marathons which included the Rotterdam, Boston, and London marathon. There has been a bit of disappointment because the front runners have not ran well, I am sure that the Kenyan Olympic committee is shaking in their boots right now. But this weekend was suppose to be my greatest day of marathoning, because it was going to be my first. I don't put much thought into the first time that I did some thing like kiss a girl, score a goal, first A in school, and other small things but this was different. Maybe because I was doing it with one of my best friends or maybe it was the fact that I looked forward to doing it for a year or so. The reason that I have not written about this earlier is because I had a lot of emotions and I just wanted it to be perfect.
I do not like going to the doctor but going I had to give in and finally realize that I could not fix my knee by myself, I was only making it worse. I am pretty sure the doctor knew exactly what was wrong with me the moment I told him the things that had been going on. When he came back, after telling me that my right leg was super weak, he explained that I had a problem with my IT band and that me running a marathon was not a smart idea. In that moment, I felt like something was ripped out of me, I just didn't feel the same after I left his office. I was angry at someone or something and I was not about to think I was the reason for this. The next few days were probably hard for the people around me, I was not a happy camper to say the least. I just didn't feel like anyone knew how I was feeling and it just sucked, plain and simple. After a few days, I looked in the mirror and just realized that I was the one that had over trained and tried to push myself way too hard so that I could be ready for the marathon. I did everything that I knew was wrong, I was upping my mileage at a crazy pace and just not really thinking about what I was doing. Once I realized that I was the one to blame, it made it a bit easier to deal with that I was not going to accomplish my goal. I miss running a lot, it is really always on my mind. Since the injury and my little time away from running, I can be driving and see a long dirt road. I fall into a day dream about running that and just how it would feel, I may seem crazy but when I have those, I just realize how big running is in my life.
May 14th cannot come fast enough but I am starting to understand that I needed this break from running, I needed to know exactly how much I miss it. I have also made some promises to myself that I am going to make running fun and not something that I have to labor at all of the time. I want to go on a run and not worry about how far I am running or how much time I have run. I want it to be a peaceful experience. This Saturday will be a great day, it will be a day that I get to witness a great friend accomplish something amazing. Hurting my knee was not the end of my running life, it was only the beginning...
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